Helping Children Deal With Loss

Death is a part of life. This is a tough thing to deal with at any age. Helping children process the death of a loved one can be challenging. Occasionally my students lose a family member. During my first year in the classroom, one of my students lost her older sister, a high school student. It was a really difficult time. Thankfully, we have adjustment counselors on hand to aid in the grieving process.

The loss of a pet can be very traumatic for children. I can usually tell when something is bothering one of my students. I take them aside and quietly ask if there’s anything wrong and if they’d like to talk about it. I give them options like taking a walk, visiting the counselor, writing about it, or just sitting quietly. Sometimes I’ll call their parents to get more information.

This year two of my students lost their dogs. I loaned them my cherished copy of “Dog Heaven” by Cynthia Rylant. It’s a wonderful book that children and their families can find comforting during a sad time. She has also written “Cat Heaven” which I’ve recently added to my collection.

Children often feel powerless and not in control of much in their lives. Death is no exception. Although grief can look very different for children, they go through a grieving process just like grownups do. The website, Partnership for Parents has a wonderful article about grief at different ages. (http://www.partnershipforparents.org/guide/?itemid=10) Scholastic is another great site with a comprehensive article by Dr. Bruce Perry that parents and teacher may find helpful. (http://teacher.scholastic.com/professional/bruceperry/child_loss.htm)

One of the best things a parent can do is let the teacher know about any loss a child is experiencing. That will allow him to support the child in the school setting. Every child is different and how you choose to help your child grieve is up to you. Just know that there is a lot of support out there, both on the Web and in your community.

Have you helped your child deal with death? Please leave a comment and share your experience. I’d love to hear from you.