New Year's Resolutions

Have you seen the writing on the wall?  No, I’m not talking about graffiti or perhaps some crayon scribblings.  I’m referring to the pencil marks that show the growth or your child.  Most families have them in a special place.  Some families even incorporate the annual height measuring into their décor with an actual painted or pasted ruler on the wall.  It’s a great way to track your child’s growth. 

Isn’t it amazing how time flies?  With another year behind us, it’s a good time to look forward to the coming year.  Have you made any resolutions?  Is your child old enough to make some for herself?  Teaching children how to set and achieve goals is a great life skill.  CLICK HERE for an awesome how-to article to get you and your family started. 

Happy New Year!  May it be filled with much good health and happiness!  What are your hopes for this year?  Leave me a comment.  I’d love to hear from you!

Family Traditions

Recently, in an attempt to prepare my students for the MCAS long composition test, I had them write a personal narrative. The topic: “Family Traditions.” The first word that tripped them up was “traditions.” Many children had no clue as to what the word even meant. How could they start the writing process?

Unlike the real MCAS, I could tell them the definition of traditions as well as brainstorm some examples. Most children thought of holiday traditions but I also tried to get them to think of vacation traditions and any others they could think of.

We had many traditions in my family. When I was little we had a tradition of going to dinner at my grandma’s house on Sundays. The traditional Sunday dinner has become a thing of the past in many families, including mine. We spent Christmas Day with my mom’s side of the family at my great uncle and aunt’s house. Having no children of their own, it was not a kid friendly place to be. Picture, if you will, white furniture and carpeting.

One of my favorite vacation traditions was the brown lunch bag for the road trip. We couldn’t open the bag to enjoy its contents until we were officially on the highway. But we already knew what we’d find: a new comic book, quiet car games and candy!

These were designed to keep us quiet and occupied for the majority of our journey. Being voracious readers we were done with all three of the comic books in no time. (We traded back and forth.) My older sister, Cindy, could make her candy last, but not we younger two, Marcia and me. We gobbled it down then enjoyed a sugar rush followed by a sugar crash. Good times.

After modeling the above traditions from my childhood, it was time to set the children loose on their writing. A couple of students were able to accomplish the task with relative ease. The rest had melt downs. They couldn’t think of any traditions. They didn’t know where to start.

After reminding them to make a list, draw a picture, or web out their ideas, they still whined. Most of my students do not like to write. It is too much effort for them. Writing is hard and takes focus and an ability to visualize. I tried to get them to tell their story by painting a picture with their words.

Still no luck for my severest reluctant writers. Some days I feel like I’m pulling teeth trying to get these kids to write. My only hope is that I’m planting seeds for the future when everything clicks and these kids, hopefully, get turned on to writing.

I actually called a few families and explained their child’s difficulties. The homework for those kids: talk with their families about their traditions. As I suspected, the families did have traditions, the kids were just not aware of them.

The bottom line? Talk with your children about your childhood traditions. It’s your heritage and theirs as well. Point out your family’s current tradition. Chances are, you’ve got them, your children just don’t know it.

Are you continuing any childhood traditions with your family? Are you creating new ones? Leave me a comment. I’d love to hear from you.

Teaching Gratitude and Graciousness

As parents the greatest gift we can give our children is the ability to navigate successfully through life. One of the best ways to do this is to teach them to be grateful. Practicing gratitude daily has many benefits but at this time of year we focus more on giving and receiving presents.

Jimmy Kimmel asked parents to play a trick on their children. The parents were to give their children an early Christmas gift. The twist was that the gift had to be something the children would never want. Then the parents video-taped their offspring opening said presents and posted them on YouTube.

Some parents wrapped up half-eaten sandwiches and rotten bananas. I enjoyed watching the little girl open the carton of six eggs and then proceed to crack open an egg. The child who got the rotten banana actually started eating it, peel and all.

Most of it made me laugh out loud but there were two clips that disturbed me. One was the boy in the red striped sweater. He has some anger management issues, I think. The fact that he was allowed to attack his parents bothered me as well. That was bad enough, but the last clip was over the top. The comment made by the young boy about what Santa could do was quite rude. Those parents get no “Parent of the Year Award” in my book. Apparently that language is considered acceptable in that household. I found it vulgar and disgusting especially to be uttered by what appears to be a ten-year old.

See for yourself. CLICK HERE to watch. Oh, and if you read the comments below the video, some of them are quite vulgar as well. (Just my humble opinion)

In addition to being grateful, perhaps we should also teach graciousness. When preparing my children to attend family gatherings, we discussed opening “Aunt Claire” gifts. My husband’s godmother, Aunt Claire, often gave gifts that weren’t quite what he wanted, like the year he received the cowboy hat. Still, he said thank you and even wore it for a short time. Then it was relegated to the back of the closet for all eternity.

Gifts are not so much about the recipient as the giver. There is a great article from USAToday about this very subject. CLICK HERE to read it.

The bottom line is that when you open a gift, even if it’s not something you like, it’s important to smile and thank the giver. It’s more about their thoughtfulness, time, and efforts.  Teaching this to children is key to avoiding social gaffes and possible embarrassment.  A polite, well behaved, gracious child is a gift not only to you and anyone your child encounters, but to your child as well.

Has your child ever reacted in a not-so-appropriate manner when they opened a gift?  Leave me a comment.  I'd love to hear about it.

Achieving the Impossible by Overcoming Procrastination

Everybody procrastinates to some degree. That is, we avoid doing something we should do in favor of something we want to do. Procrastination becomes a problem when it interferes with our lives. We may not reach our fullest potential in our professional and/or private lives.

 According to Mindtools.com, there are three steps to overcoming procrastination:

1. Recognize that you are procrastinating. You can’t address a problem if you don’t acknowledge it.

2. Determine WHY you are procrastinating. The most common causes: the task is unpleasant to us, we are unorganized, and/or the task is overwhelming.

3. Develop anti-procrastination strategies. There is a great, free, on-line tip sheet at onlineorganizing.com to help even the worst procrastinator get started.

So, what are you waiting for? Seize the day and get something done!

Have you ever put off doing something and regretted it? Leave me a comment. I’d love to hear from you!

Halloween Etiquette

At this time of year many sources offer advice on safe trick or treating.  I’d like to focus on etiquette.  For grownups and kids.  Many parents remind their children to say please and thank you while they are gathering their treats.  What I’ve observed over the past few years is that parents aren’t taking the time to explain to their children the trick or treating protocol.

1.  Ring the doorbell of houses that have their lights on.

2.  Wait patiently.

3.  When the person answers the door say, “Trick or treat.”

4.  After the candy is put in the bags say, “Thank you.”

5.  Walk carefully down the steps and back to the grownups.

Why do we say trick or treat?  Basically we’re threatening the homeowner with a trick such as soaping windows (or worse in some cases) if they don’t give us a treat.  Click HERE for a great website about the origins of the phrase and some history of Halloween traditions.

The biggest complaint I heard this year was that grownups are now carrying their own trick or treat containers.  When the door opens they are begging for candy and they’re not even wearing costumes.  This is downright rude.  Candy is expensive and it is purchased with the intention of distributing it to children.  Do what all parents have done over the years: raid your kids’ Halloween candy stash after they go to bed!  Kids shouldn’t eat all that candy anyway.

Teaching Your Child To Cross the Road

If you read this week’s “Ponderings” you know that I witnessed a near calamity recently. As parents we hope that our children make good choices and would never do something so stupid. Although we can’t guarantee that they will always use common sense, it is still our job to teach them strategies for safety and success as well as the rules of society and laws of the land.

There are some great resources for teaching your child to cross the road safely. Pedestrian laws vary from town to town, city to city so it’s important to know them, show them, and practice them with your child. Remember, by “show them” I mean model, model, model. If you say, “Always cross in a crosswalk,” and then jaywalk where your child can witness, all your parenting efforts are out the window.

As usual, the web is a fantastic resource for how-to information on teaching your child how to cross the road safely.  Click HERE, HERE, and HERE for some great links on how to teach your child pedestrian safety laws.

Politeness Pays

Politeness really pays. When children are sitting politely waiting for their balloon, I pick them first. The other day as I was feverishly making balloon animals for a dozen children, only one of them said thank you. The others just grabbed their balloon. Often when I’m clowning I have parents who prompt their child to use their polite words. To them I say, “Thank you!”

A well-mannered child doesn’t happen by accident. Teaching your child manners starts with you modeling good manners and then having her say please and thank you when she is able to say a few words. Most importantly, manners need to be practiced in order for them to be part of your child’s daily habits. Manners are an important part of civility and by using manners on a daily basis your home will be more peaceful. An added bonus is that when you are out in public your child is apt to be better behaved, earning you kudos as a good parent!

There are some great resources on the web for teaching manners to your child:
· The Etiquette Princess has a great book for young children.
· Sylvan Education has a page with lots of links for teaching manners.
· The ever popular Emily Post has a great site with lots of articles about manners.

Unfortunately what I see happening lately is that parents are not teaching their children manners and it is one more thing that the schools have to teach. This leaves less time for teaching the nitty-gritty academic subjects. As a result I am seeing an overall decline in intelligence and higher level thinking abilities. Is this what we want for our next generation?

Is your child polite?  Leave me a comment.  I’d love to hear from you!